Today I want to shed a little "lyte" on marriage. A loaded topic for sure, and one I will probably revisit again and again. In the interest of full disclosure, I have been married for almost 25 years and am in what would be considered a "happy" marriage. Thank goodness, because a recent study done by doctoral candidate Nancy Henry of the University of Utah shows that an unhappy marriage could be fatal.
I am not talking about domestic violence. I am talking about women's cardiovascular health. One in two women will develop heart disease in their lifetime. Heart disease kills more women that all the cancers combined. A woman's first heart attack is often her last, since a women is more likely to die from her first heart attack.
So what's the link between marriage and heart disease? Women in unhappy marriages are more likely to develop metabolic syndrome; a deadly combination of high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and high blood sugars. The trigger for the development of this syndrome? An atmosphere of negativity that leads to depression. Studies have shown that women are more likely to suffer from depression from men. Now it seems that the strains of living in a contentious marriage weigh more heavily on the wife than on the husband. This can lead to depression which can contribute to the development of metabolic syndrome, greatly increasing the wife's chances of getting heart disease and suffering a heart attach or stroke.
Why does negativity hurt wives more than husbands? The theory is that women may ruminate on the negative more than a man. Another study done to measure gender differences in reaction to relationship conflict bears this out. The study showed that women's blood pressure rates stayed elevated longer than men's after an argument. I know this is true in my own marriage. I have often marveled at my husband's ability to get over a fight so much faster than me. I get mad and stay mad. Even after we make up, I'll replay the fight in all it's technicolor details...for days. Well, I better get better at getting over it or it might kill me.
I have known for years that marriage is better for men that it is for women. Actuary tables bear out this little-publicized truth. Unmarried men have the shortest life span, followed by married men, than married women. Single women live the longest. No one talks about this, our society is predicated on the belief that women "need" companionship like we need air, water and food. Just like dirty air, unclean water, and unhealthy food can kill us, apparently so can an unsatisfactory marriage.
Scores of novels, poems, movies and songs have been based on the agony of a broken heart. Now science is showing that love really can break a women's heart. Be careful out there ladies. Better no marriage than a bad one.
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