Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Deep Southed


I want to shed some "lyte" on eccentricity.  My sister came for a visit recently and left me a bag of books.  She goes to a used book sale in her hometown and scores a serious amount of reading matter for very little coin.  Having a huge bag of books saves me from going to the library.  Not that I mind going to my library, but having a supply of books on hand is like money in the bank for me.

I am an avid reader.  I have been on a tear lately, thanks to summer vacation and my sister's bag of books.  But what disturbs me is a trend I have noticed.  It seems that all the interesting people in the United States of America reside south of the Mason-Dixon line.

Book after book recounts the delightful adventures of the denizens of the former Confederate states:  "Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood", "Sweet Potato Queens Book of Love", anything penned by Anne River Siddons.  There are no characters that live in North Dakota, or Oklahoma.  Just page after page of deep-fried craziness with a side of blackened angst.

I could blame Tennessee Williams for the whole trend.  Of course, none of his plays have any humor in them, they bleed pathos.  But he started it, the humor just came later.  Is no one funny or interesting in Ohio?  

Is this the South's revenge for reconstruction?  Sure, we won the war, but they get the bestseller's list.  Is there a Northern equivalent for gumbo?  Or gullah?  Forget about the north, what about the west?  Are gay cowboys and suicidal gamblers the only thing we will ever be remembered for?  So I am calling on all writers who do not reside from the South to get with it!  Cook up some craziness Michigan-style, ya hey der.  Please, your country needs you.   

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