You Can Do It!

I want to shine some "lyte" on resolutions. This week, millions of people are making all kinds of promises to themselves and others that they have no intention of keeping. Losing weight and quitting smoking top the list for most. Spending more time with my family, getting my finances under control, organizing my life, are also popular choices.

Bullsh*t. Be honest with yourself. You'll stick to your "resolution" for about two weeks and then you will go back to doing whatever it was you were doing before. Smoking, eating too much, sticking your credit card receipts in a shoebox. Sure, we are very good at making resolutions, but piss poor at keeping them.

So, make a resolution that is easy to keep. I resolve to breathe in and out. To walk upright. To remain conscious (most of the time). Not only will you be able to keep these resolutions, you will feel positively virtuous for doing so. Happy New Year!

Tidings

I want to shed some "lyte" on anticipation today. This time of year is when in addition to snowflakes, there is anticipation in the air. You feel it most around kids; they send out rogue waves of it as they contemplate what they want from Santa.

But adults are not immune to the siren song of "I want". We are bombarded with images of shiny new cars wrapped in bows and flashy new big screen tvs. And when most of us are watching every penny, these temptations are akin to Chinese water torture, or to use the millennium term, Guantanamo waterboarding.

We need to rediscover the meaning of the season. And I am not an advocate for putting the "Christ" back in Christmas. People have been celebrating the winter solstice long before Jesus walked the earth. What this time of year is all about is comfort and joy, and when you are stuck in line at Walmart, mentally calculating if you are going to go over your credit card limit with this next purchase, comfort and joy seem a long ways away.

So send a card, a real card with a note and a picture, to a friend you haven't talked to in a while. Call a family member who is notorious for being a hermit. Carol. Bake some cookies and give them to your neighbors. Simple acts of connection that speak to the spirit of the holidays. It's cold out there, meteorologically and metaphorically, we could all use some warmth.

In Awe

Today I am shining some "lyte" on all the working mothers out there. I know, I know, whether at home or at an office, store, factory, or school, all mothers work. But now that I am trying to balance full time working hours and home life, I have a whole new appreciation for what those women do everyday, often in heels.

I realize that I have been incredibly fortunate to be able to stay home with my family until my little darlings have grown (almost) as tall as me. While being a parent to teenagers is no picnic, it is a much easier row to hoe than working full time and having small children at home.

If one of my kids is sick, they can pretty much stay home and take care of themselves. They can dose themselves with medicine, know where the toilet is, and can operate the microwave. But how mothers of small children or worse yet, infants, work full time and then have the energy and interest to parent, I have no idea.

I am in bed by 9 pm most nights, well ahead of my nocturnal teens. They can do their own homework, and I no longer have to read them a story before bedtime. They help with chores. I cannot begin to tell you how incredible it was to have them and my husband help me clean the house. A job that normally takes 6 hours was done in a little over an hour and a half and my back was not screaming for mercy.

I feel like such a weenie. I haven't made time to write this blog, work out, or any of the things I used to do on a daily basis when I was home. Notice I used the word "made" not "had". I am realizing that my schedule needs a radical overhaul and I need to pay attention to two things: 1) the open time in my daily routine and 2) my energy levels. If I want to blog, I need the time, but not necessarily the physical energy. If I want to exercise, I need both.

So, my apologies to all three or four of my faithful followers out there. But I am back. Not tan, not rested, but definitely back. Let's get this party started...

Mam's The Word

I want to shine some "lyte" on secrets today. Some new screening guidelines have recently been released by the government suggesting that women wait until age 50 to get mammograms and then get screened only every other year.

This suggestion has been met for the most part with dismay since many women fear that insurance companies will use the new guidelines as an excuse to not pay for mammograms for women under the age of 50. And I do not doubt that some insurance company will "test the waters" by doing just that. Anything to make or save a buck.

I, personally, am not dismayed. I am secretly relieved. See, I don't get yearly mammograms. I know, I know, everyone says screenings save lives, but I disagree. I am mammarily challenged. In other words, I have small breasts.

For those of you who are not familiar with the trials of the mammarily challenged; the smaller the breast, the more painful the mammogram. Squeezing my teeny-tiny girls between two metal plates is uncomfortable at best and excruciating at worst. Plus, I never saw the upside of traumatizing my boobs and radiating them at the same time.

If, in order to prevent prostrate or testicular cancer, men were required to sandwich their balls between two metal plates and bombard them with radiation, I am fairly confident that a more comfortable option would be swiftly forthcoming. In fact, I am positive.

So for now, I will take comfort in the idea that for once, the government and I agree on something. But now I have one more reason to dread my fiftieth birthday.

My Louvre

I want to shine some "lyte" on nostalgia. The other night, my daughters and I looked through their artwork dating from when they first started drawing through 1st grade. It was a different experience than looking at photos or watching videos. More visceral. More immediate.

Those pictures really took me back to those days. I remembered the plastic picnic table where most of the masterpieces were created. I was amazed at the sheer amount of work they produced. I must have spent a small fortune on paint and paper. Looking at their tiny handprints was especially poignant.

I was feeling quite nostalgic for those days, such simple and yet incredibly difficult, days. But that feeling didn't last long. I also remembered just how frustrating those days were. As challenging as teens can be, I will take them any day over a toddler.

My kids were shocked that I saved so much. I can't explain why. Most of the work is not identified or dated. A lot of it lacks any artistic sensibility. But I see myself in the not-too-distant future; grayer and undoubtably wiser, surrounded by the creativity of my children, hopefully, grandchildren, and if I am really blessed, great-grandchildren. Being bathed in visions of tiny handprints.

Three Ring Circus

I want to shine some "lyte" on balance today. Those of you who follow my blog (all three of you) may have noticed that I haven't posted anything in the last week. I started a new job last week and it has thrown my whole schedule into a tailspin.

Working part time and being home, I had my schedule down to a science. Now I have new responsibilities and less time at home. More like no time at home. And the center is not holding.

Women are urged to find some sort of mythical balance between home and work. I don't know if it is possible. Some times work overwhelms home, other times home over shadows work. As far as my personal priorities, home is always more important than work. But translating that into the real world is delicate work.

So we do our best. Try to do everything we can on the weekends and hope it all holds through the week. But balance? I am not so much a tightrope walker as a juggler. Just trying to keep it all in the air and off the ground.

Part of the Team

Today I want to shed some "lyte" on contributing. For the past fifteen years, my primary preoccupation and occupation has been being a full time, stay at home, parent. My husband and I made the decision well before our children were born that when the time came, who ever made the most money would work, the other parent would stay home. For a while, I was the primary breadwinner, but by the time our twins were born, my husband out earned me.

Losing 40% of our take home pay was not easy. We have had to live with debt and certain amount of economic uncertainty, especially in the last few years. But we both felt that the sacrifice was worth it. Staying home was not easy for me. At times it was mind numbingly dull and incredibly tedious. It didn't help that while most of society lauds women for choosing family over career, that praise is merely lip service. I got used to seeing zeroes on my Social Security statement and watching peoples' eyes glaze over when I answered that ice-breaking question at parties, "So, what do you do for a living?"

I did work part time for most of my kids' childhood. I volunteered until my eyes bled. But I missed having a "real job". So I spent the past few months looking for a full time position. Between the economy and the gaps in my resume, my job search was a true exercise in humility. No one would even interview me. I kept reminding myself that Las Vegas is one of the worst job markets in America, but it gave me scant comfort.

Well, out of the blue, my future came to me. I was approached in one of my part time jobs and offered a chance. I cannot tell you how much just the act of being interviewed soothed my much-battered ego. My joy was increased a thousandfold when I was offered the job.

I started today. And while motherhood has been one of the most fulfilling roles I have ever had, I cannot begin to tell you how good it feels to work again. And while I have always contributed, I cannot pretend that a bigger paycheck doesn't feed me in a way that all the platitudes do not. Just don't tell my kids.

Great Expectations

I am shining some more "lyte" on parenting. Today I want to talk about discipline. This will be a multi-blog topic, because there is a lot more to discipline than just punishment. In fact, I don't like the word punishment, I prefer to use consequences, because that's what it really is. My kids are heartily sick of the phrase, "This is a logical consequence to your poor choice".

But first we need to address expectations. You need to know where your child is developmentally so you will have realistic expectations of their behavior. An infant is not manipulating you by crying, they are communicating with you by crying. A teenager is challenging your authority, that is their job as a teenager. By knowing what developmental stage your child is, and knowing what to expect, you will cut out a lot of needless aggravation.

Most libraries have a wonderful series of books titled "Your (insert age here) Old" by by Louise Bates Ames, Ph. D. and Frances L. Ilg, M.D.. These books saved my sanity. They really explain in simple language where your child is at and give strategies on how to deal with them. One of the interesting facts that they share is that most children move through a definite cycle of easy to difficult behaviors during a particular year. For example, we have all heard of the "terrible twos" but in fact, most toddlers begin the "terrible twos" at about eighteen months and are, in fact, easier to deal with when they are finally two!

So, if your child is driving you crazy, start by figuring out if they are doing on purpose (probably not) or if they can't help themselves. Understand, all bets are off when they are teenagers!

Do As I Do

I am continuing to shine some "lyte" on parenting. Today I want to talk about modeling. No, not the kind practiced by Tyra Banks, the kind parents need to do in order to be "good enough".

Your child learns in a myriad of ways. One of the most effective strategies is to demonstrate the behavior you want to see. Your child looks up to you, and looks to you for cues on how to be a grown up. Even if you are a different gender from your child, you are still a role model.

Want your child to be polite? Be polite with them in every interaction. Ask them please, and be sure to thank them. Let them witness you opening doors for others, chewing with your mouth closed, acting graciously.

Want your child to be honest? Tell them the truth. Sure, you can fudge a little bit; Santa Claus and Tooth Fairy come to mind. But in the big stuff, be as scrupulously honest as possible. Given too much change at the store? Return it. Make a mistake? Admit it. Hurt someones feelings? Confess, apologize, and offer amends.

No matter how many TV shows, movies, or video games your child may watch or play, you are still the greatest influence in their lives. You are not just taller than your child, you have to the bigger person as well.

A Delicate Balance

I want to shine some more "lyte" on parenting today. I teed off on bad parents in my last blog, so I want to talk about good parenting in this post. What is the point of talking about what's only what's wrong, you need to discuss what's right as well.

First of all, parenting is a process. Your goal should not be perfection. You need to strive to be a "good enough" parent. Unfortunately, most parents go to one extreme or another. They either try to control every aspect of their child's life, or they become a doormat for their child in a vain attempt to be their child's friend. Like most things in life, parenting is about balance.

A "good enough" parent is a benevolent dictator. Your child should have no doubt about who is charge. But at the same time, you don't need to be a bully. Of course you are more powerful than your child, you are the adult. You don't need to rub their face in it.

But you can't abdicate your leadership role when your child doesn't like your decisions. Most of your parenting decisions will be about personal preference. It will be about how you like to have things done. Your child may not like it, but it not about what they like, it is about what they have to do. We all have to follow rules in life, and if your child grows up in a household with no rules, no boundaries, and no consequences, they will have a tough time in the real world.

One of the things a "good enough" parent does is choose their battles. Some things are non-negotiable: wearing a seat belt in the car, wearing a helmet when you ride a bike, doing your homework. Other things you can give a little on: clothing styles, haircuts, playtime activities. When your child is younger, give them a choice between two things: carrots or celery, Candyland or Pick Up Sticks, Good Night Moon or Pat The Bunny. This gives them a sense of control and empowerment. When they get older, give them more autonomy. Let them choose their bedtime on the weekends, what movie to watch on movie night, or what game to play. Parenting is a process of letting go. By giving your child a lot of practice making good decisions, you can trust them more when the stakes get higher.

Rotten Fruit

I am shining a "lyte" on parenting today. There is a biblical phrase, "By their fruits, ye shall know them." I can't remember what book or chapter it is from, but I know it is New Testament. The quote is talking about a person's character and depth of faith, saying that you will know if someone is doing good by the results you see in their life.

The same is true for parenting. All the hard work you put in in the early years pays off when your kids get older. Parenting is an exercise in faith. You will not see the fruit of your labor for years, even decades. It is not fun, and you're not doing it just for yourself, but for our society. A good child will most likely grow up to be a good citizen.

Lately we have seen some scary examples of dismal parenting. The young man that was set on fire in Florida. One of the parents of the alleged perpetrators said, "Wrong place, wrong people." I was appalled. It is an echo of the phrase, "Mistakes were made." Something we heard a lot during the Bush years. A 15 year old child does not set another child on fire by accident. Not wrong people, wrong parents. Not wrong place, wrong choices.

The outbreak of youth violence has many perplexed. I see it as culmination of poor parenting, the desensitizing of young people to violence by movies, TV, and video games. If you regularly "kill" someone on screen, how much of a leap is it to want to try it for real? If all you see is violence as a solution to conflicts, how can you make an informed choice? If you are essentially raising yourself, who are your role models?

Then you have the Gosselins. You put your family on display for America. Let your children be filmed almost from birth. Portray yourselves as an ideal family. Then you hit a rough spot. Air your dirty laundry in every tabloid and TV show. Exchange accusations in the press. Bring your girlfriends home. Accuse one another of theft. They are a microcosm of what has gone so horribly wrong in this country. What ever happened to privacy? Decorum? Manners? Adult behavior?

Another stunning example of piss-poor parenting is the boy in the balloon. Here are parents willing to do anything to get on TV. They involve their son in a hoax. The poor kid has more integrity than his parents; when he is asked if the event was staged, he pukes rather than tell a lie.

What is our society coming to? My generation is doing all of us a disservice by trying to be friends with their children. You have to be a parent. But there is hope. Children usually do one of two things when they become parents: follow their parents' example or do the exact opposite. Perhaps these kids will choose the latter.

BFD

Today I am shining some "lyte" on prosperity. In case you didn't notice, the Dow Jones Industrial Index hit 10,000 yesterday. There was dancing in the stock exchange, hats, and banner headlines throughout the internet. Yawn.

I mean, so what? Stockbrokers are back to making money again? Yippee! The rich are now getting richer? Sorry if I don't celebrate your good fortune. 514,000 people lost their jobs last week. That's reality. What is happening on Wall Street has little or no effect on Main Street.

I am happy for people who are retired, now they might start getting some of their lost savings back. But that's about it. And all this talk about the Dow started me thinking about true wealth.

I was hoping that this economic meltdown would cause people to readjust their perception of prosperity. To focus less on the quantity of their lives and more on the quality. It is hard to feel wealthy when you are homeless, hungry, and frightened. But if you are breathing, and are healthy, you have an opportunity to do something.

Do you have a loving family? A circle of friends? You're wealthy. Do you have clean water to drink and clean air to breathe? You're wealthy. Food on the table? Ditto.

A job? You are incredibly fortunate. A car? You're wealthy. A roof over your head? You're wealthy. Can you think, plan, and decide? You're powerful. Can you execute your plans? You're incredibly powerful.

Everyday, ordinary people do heroic acts of enormous courage. That's worth celebrating. The Dow? As my teenagers are fond of saying, "whatever".

If Only...

Today I want to shine some "lyte" on adaptation. CNN reporter Campbell Brown did a story on Michelle Mack. Michelle was born with developmental, cognitive, and physical challenges. For years, doctors were baffled as to the cause. Then someone did a MRI. Michelle was born with a half a brain.

Despite the early doomsday predictions about her life, Michelle works, can speak, eat, and walk. She is very good with dates and numbers. And she does all this without the left half of her brain. Her brain rewired itself, and this discovery is opening up a whole new way of looking at how our brains adapt to injury or birth defects.

Michelle will always need some help, but is surprisingly independent. She works from home, pays rent, and is contributing member of society. All this with a half a brain. So what's Glenn Beck's excuse?

Baby Fat?

I want to shine some "lyte" on the truth. The health insurance lobby has started a "major offensive" to battle to the reform bill. Despite claims that they welcome reform, we are now seeing a big push back now that reform is becoming a reality.

The insurance lobby commissioned Price Waterhouse to analyze the Baucus bill. Are we surprised when they find that Americans will pay more for their health insurance if that version of the bill is passed? Or that Price Waterhouse ignored the subsidies that would be put in place to offset the increase in premiums. Are we shocked that the insurance industry is using scare tactics?

But just as they roll out their ads, this story comes out of Colorado. A baby is denied health insurance because he is too fat. Yes, a four month old, who is in 99 percentile in height and weight, was denied coverage. According to Rocky Mountain Health Plans, little Alex Lange suffers from a pre-existing condition, obesity. Alex is breast fed. So, should his mother feed him less? Sign up a 4 month old baby for the gym?

A strong public option is the only remedy for situations like these. Insurance companies are only interested in one thing, profits. And if they have to step over cute, chubby, little babies to get there, they will.

We Aren't The World

I want to shine a little "lyte" on accolades today. President Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize. A bit of an upset, since the nominations closed in February and he was sworn into office on the 21st of January. So the committee had a lot of confidence in what they thought Obama was going to do.

He has not disappointed. The mere fact of his election made everyone in the world feel better about us. After 8 years of "if you aren't for us, you are against us", diplomacy disguised as bullying, having a president who actually listens to people and thinks about things is a refreshing and welcomed change.

The rest of the world may love our president, but here at home? Not so much. It is kind of hard to reconcile a picture of Obama as Hitler or the Joker with the phrase "Nobel Peace Prize winner". But the rabid right and the Republicans have no problem with oxymoron. Just look at the leaders of their party.

RNC chairman, Michael Steele, claims that Obama won the prize due to his "star power", rather than any actual accomplishments. "The real question Americans are asking is, what has President Obama actually accomplished?" Being the first African-American President is apparently not an accomplishment. And being an African-American himself, Mr. Steele again demonstrates the astonishing lack of irony that all Republicans possess.

So, congratulations President Obama. Maybe someday your own citizens will recognize your greatness as readily as the Swedes.

A Good Book?

I want to shed some "lyte" on biases. Remember how I say that conservatives feel that facts have a liberal bias? Well a group of conservatives have a liberal book in their sights that they feel needs to edited to remove it's lefty bias. The book, well, is The Book, the Bible.

That's right, the web site Conservapedia, has created a Wikipedia knock-off that is attempting to remove the liberal bias from the Bible. Apparently this web site presumes to do the original one better. They want to create "a framework against liberal bias", and "utilize powerful conservative terms". Two of their aims seems contradictory, they want to "not dumb down" the Good Book, but at the same time they "prefer conciseness to liberal wordiness".

Some of the examples of liberalism are priceless. For example, they don't like the quote in Luke 22:34, "Father, forgive them, they know not what they do." Because this quote is not found in the other Gospels, conservatives want to give it the boot. And Conservapedia is determined to root out the socialism that permeates the Bible. Terms like comrade, labor, and fellow worker all point to a slant towards socialism.

Jesus wept. Wait! Is that too emasculating? Should I say Jesus cried? Jesus mourned? Jesus ranted? Jesus likes Sarah Palin in 2012?

Guessing Games

I want to shine a little "lyte" on propriety. Quick! What do a famous late night talk show host and a senator from Nevada have in common? Times up, they both had affairs with women on their staff. They both admitted the affairs when someone threatened to take the information public. Their paths diverge when one of them worked with their blackmailer and the other one went public to expose their blackmailer.

Guess who is in trouble? The senator from Nevada. Big time. In addition to creating a job for the husband of his paramour, he went one step further and had his parents pay him hush money. Still worried about keeping the cuckolded hubby quiet, the lobbying firm that he set hubby up at mainly lobbied the senator himself. This violates Senate ethics. Yes, there are ethics in the senate, they are kind of like Mary Magdalene in Protestant churches; dusty forgotten things that are only brought out like once a year.

David Letterman's infidelity is getting a lot more press. Shocking to think that a famous, powerful man would sleep around. Would use his office, complete with pull out couch, as a love nest. Would have more than one affair. Yawn. Who cares? The only interesting twist was the $2 million dollar extortion attempt. What dim bulb would think that anyone short of the Pope would pay $2 million dollars rather than admit an affair?

So, nooky is back in the news. I have a feeling that Letterman will keep his job. Ensign? Stay tuned, that party is just getting started. Haven't these guys heard of Ashley Madison?

So Much Craziness, Too Little Time

I'm shedding some "lyte" today on choices. Normally, I find the topic for my blog pretty quickly. A news item or poll catches my eye and I am off and running. Not today, there is a lot of nuttiness in the nougat and I can't decide where to shine my "lyte".

A front-runner is the story out about Ted Williams' head. The storied baseball player's son had his head cryogenically frozen in the hopes that some day he could be regenerated. Creepy science fiction plot aside, just how to do you regenerate someone using just their head? That is showing a lot of faith in future technologies. But, apparently future scientists will be regenerating Ted from damaged goods. A former executive with Alcor Life Extension Foundation reveals in his book that a technician took "baseball like" swings at Williams' head with a monkey wrench. This story is appealing on so many levels and I was totally ready to run with it, but then I my attention was caught by this little gem.

TLC has suspended production of "Jon and Kate plus 8" at the request of Jon Gosselin. Watching this family unit unravel has been one of my dirty little pleasures. Don't get me wrong, I feel terrible for the children, it's the parents that I can't stand. Jon is obviously going through a major mid-life crisis complete with nanny booty calls. Kate is trying to appear as the victim, but it is tough act to sustain when you are a gold-plated b*tch and millions of people know that. Kate was ready to forge ahead with a new series, "Kate plus 8" but Jon belatedly has noticed that maybe filming a reality TV show when your marriage is dissolving just might not be the healthiest thing for your children. He shared his conflict with Larry King for an hour last night and now taping of the family has been stopped. Is it me, or is the timing of Jon's crisis of conscience a little too convenient? Okay, so this story had wheels as well, but then I wandered into the political arena and all bets were off.

John Boehner, House Minority Leader and poster boy for the dangers of spray tanning, is trying desperately to remove the taste of feet from his mouth. Boehner said on Thursday that he had never met anyone who supported the public option. Be careful of what you say now that there is this thing called the internet; you better fact check yourself or just shut up. Of course a person was found that had, more than once, let Representative Boehner know that they supported the public option. In fact, it was one of his own constituents who has repeatedly contacted Boehner's office. Twice by letter, with a written response both times and several times by phone. So Boehner ignores his own district and the other 65% of Americans who support a public option. Maybe a little Scope will wash that corn chip flavor out of your mouth, John.

Well, that's it for a batsh*t crazy Friday. Enjoy your weekend!

She Is An American Girl

Today I want to shed a little "lyte" on marketing. There is a line of dolls known as "American Girl". The company is based in Wisconsin and is now owed by Mattel. They make dolls that reflect certain historical time periods. Each doll comes with its own book and a boatload of accessories.

If you don't have daughters, you probably have never heard of American Girls. But just about any girl between the ages of 4 and 10 has. Now, I know we are living in a historically significant time, but I think having a homeless American Girl is just too much.

Her name is Gwen Thompson and her dad abandoned her family and her mom lost her job. They live in their car and Gwen keeps her homelessness a secret. I am not kidding. This doll exists and can be yours for a mere $95.00. I'd like to say that part of the purchase is donated to combat homelessness, but it's not.

It seems a wee bit cynical to market tragedy. Plus, what kind of accessories will they offer for Gwen? My daughters loved their American Girls and I was amazed at the plethora of stuff you can buy for them. Some of it is period specific, like a radio for Molly, or goat for Josephina. Others are more generic like a salon for their hair, or a "bubble" bath. What kind of cool stuff does a homeless girl have? Are they going to sell the car that her family lives in?

Look, I am all for educating and expanding young peoples' horizons through toys. But this horizon is a little too bleak for me.

Sin Map

Today I am shedding some "lyte" on the seven deadly sins. No, it is not a new reality TV show, they are catalog of bad behavior that has been around since the 14th century. Well, a team at Kansas State has mapped the sins geographically across the United States. They used per capita statistics like theft for envy, and STD's for lust. They then color-coded the sin from a deep gold (saintly) to a deep magenta (devilish).

So, how did the maps turn out? For a full pictorial, go to Wired.com. But I will summarize it for you. Greed is mostly concentrated in the four corners of our great nation, with the greatest concentration in California. The Southeastern seaboard states, including Florida have the most envy. They also had the greatest concentration of wrath, but there is a nice pocket of that in Texas as well.

Sloth was found in Montana and Idaho. Gluttony was shared by Texas, Tennessee, and the Virginias. Lust was highly concentrated in the South, with the exception of Florida. And Pride, which was an aggregate of all the sins was once again concentrated mainly in the southern states, with pockets in California, the Northwest and up the East Coast.

And where do we find most of the saints? Surprisingly, not in Utah, but in the Midwest. Gluttony is the only sin that has no saintly states, but given the obesity rates in our country, I am not shocked.

I must admit, I am disappointed that my hometown, Las Vegas, was only magenta for one sin: Greed. So much for "Sin City", we need to get busy!

School's In

I want to shed a little "lyte" on constituencies. President Obama has a lot of people angry at him. Some folks are comparing him to Hitler. Obama's Presidential campaign made a very strong and successful appeal to America's youth. Now he is in danger of losing that demographic.

Is it because of his proposed healthcare bill? No. His troop build up in Afghanistan. Nope. His obsession with bipartisanship? No, again. President Obama is going to really anger the youth of this country by suggesting we lengthen the school day and the school year.

Needless to say, the kids are definitely not alright with this. But as Education Secretary Arne Duncan pointed out, the traditional school calendar was created when we were "agrarian economy" and now we are not. Only 2% of the population resides on family farms. And in order to compete in a new millennium, it would make sense to no longer follow a calendar set in the last one.

Plus more families are dual income and no one wants kids coming home to an empty house. Extending school hours, opening on weekends, and shortening the length of summer vacation makes sense. To us adults, but to kids? I don't think so. And Obama needs to remember that today's paper carrier is tomorrow's voter. So tread lightly on this one, President Obama, or even your own kids won't vote for you.

We've Come A Long Way, Maybe?

Today I am shedding some "lyte" on happiness, specifically, women's happiness. Two longitudinal studies have shown that women's rates of happiness have been declining. These studies show that over the past 40 years, women have been growing increasingly unhappy. And this trend crosses ethnicity, religious, political, and geographical boundaries. Women everywhere are unhappier. No surprise, men have grown happier.

Why the disparity? Haven't we seen enormous gains for women in the workplace, in politics, and in the classroom? Just last year we witnessed a woman come closer to the presidency than ever before. What's wrong with us? Can't we just lighten up?

No. Men are simple creatures. Give them more money and they are happier. Women are much more complex. We want more than just material gain. And despite all the strides that have been made, the world is still a very hostile place to be female.

We still have not achieved wage parity. True, our earnings versus men rose a little this year, but that is due more to the current economy where men are taking the bigger hit. We still are not safe. Our biggest predator is the men we live with. They hit us, cut us, rape us, and kill us in astounding numbers. We still are held to a unobtainable standard of beauty. We are told that as we age, we lose. When men age, they gain.

We still make up the majority of the ranks of the world's poor. We still see countries where being born female is viewed as a tragedy. Our bodies are still treated as possessions. Our appearance is subject to speculation and debasement. Did anyone bash President Obama for wearing pants suits during the campaign?

What do women want? Security for starters. It would be nice to be safe. A man's biggest fear is humiliation, a women's is murder. Changing that paradigm would make us all happier. How about some more money? When money is given to women, everyone benefits. When money is given to men, they benefit. And how about some property? Instead being considered a possession, how about we get to possess? Equal access to education would make us all more cheerful as well.

I am not surprised that women are unhappier. We pay attention and there is alot to be unhappy about. The question shouldn't be why, but what. As is, what are going to do about it?

Red Flags

I want to shed a little "lyte" on climate change. Has anyone seen Sydney, Australia? I mean that seriously. Can anyone actually see Sydney right now? It is enveloped in a huge dust storm. The skies have turned red. Flights are grounded. Citizens are warned to stay inside.

Australia has been in a drought for quite some time. And now the eastern part of that continent is blanketed in 5 million TONS of dust. But don't worry, climate change is still up for debate.

I have said it before, Mother Nature does not do bailouts. How many warnings do we ignore before we actually do something substantial and serious about protecting our global environment? The red dust covering Sydney is a huge red flag to the rest of the world. We better take heed, before it is too late.

Accidentally Out

I want to shed a little "lyte" on sexual orientation. Do you use social networks, like Facebook or MySpace? Be careful, you might be giving out more information about yourself than you think. No, I am not talking about those pictures of you in your shower, I am talking about really private information, like who you like to have sex with.

Leave to a couple of brainiacs at MIT to come up with a way to predict sexual orientation using your Facebook profile. They used a person's friend list, gender, and "interested in", and trained a computer to spot trends. And guess what, gay men have more gay men friends. But it gets interesting when they used the software on profiles of students they knew where gay, but hadn't "outted" themselves. The software predicted that these students were gay, 100% of the time. Oh, and they named the software program "Gaydar".

Now, this software only worked with gay men. Bisexuals, gay women, apparently have a more diverse friends list. (My assumption, not theirs) But still, it has to give you pause. Our buying patterns are tracked at the grocery store. Our voting habits are tracked by political parties. Now my sexuality could be tracked? Is nothing sacred?

A whole new field of analysis has opened up, thanks to the expansion of social networks. And even if you don't post revealing information about yourself, you may be revealing more than you want. Sociologists are having a field day doing statistical analysis on these networks.

So, take a long look at your friend's list, people. It might say more about you than you think.

Insult to Injury

Today I want to shed a little "lyte" on Murphy's Law. I recently read about a woman in Illinois who died after she caught fire during surgery. Yes, while undergoing surgery, a flash fire broke out and Janice McCall was severely burned. She died six days later.

Apparently, flash fires can happen during surgery. I did not know this. But it makes sense when you realize that doctors are using electrical surgical tools under drapes with oxygen being administered. The phenomena happens about 500-600 times a year and kills 1 to 2 people. Now, if a vitamin or a herb caused this kind of mayhem, you could be sure that the FDA would be quick to ban it. But it happens under a doctor's supervision, so it's okay.

Hospitals are dangerous places. It is bad enough that you can catch MRSA or some other flesh eating, antibiotic defying, disease. Or end up with a nasty infection, or catch a virus from another patient. But now you have to wonder whether you will catch fire while being operated on. Maybe we should bring back leeches? At least they're not flammable.

A Czar By Any Other Name

I want to shed some "lyte" on outrage today. Outrage is the new black for the rabid right and the Republicans. And if they cannot find something legitimate to get outraged about, they will manufacture something.

First it was that President Obama uses teleprompters, then it was that he wasn't an American. Now, in addition to being a socialist and fascist, Obama is now a closet imperialist. Why? Because he has appointed too many "czars".

An anti-czar bill has been introduced in the House of Representatives. It has, at last count, 100 co-sponsors. Republicans fear that Obama's plethora of czars is disguising yet another attempt by the head of our government to, well...lead our country or something. Many of these Republicans had no problem with the czars that were appointed during Bush's tenure.

Even a former Bush czar himself, Karl Rove, is suspicious of Obama's motives. Again demonstrating the Republican party's complete lack of irony, a man who helped to engineer the biggest power grab by the executive branch is positing that Obama's czars are a "giant expansion of presidential power". I guess it takes one to know one.

Also, the Republicans show their total disdain for facts, by ignoring that many of these "czars" were already approved by the Senate, or are filling posts created by Congress. Some are state department appointees and have real job titles. But again, don't confuse Republicans with facts.

You have to wonder just what priorities the Republican party operates under. Never mind the economic crisis, the war in Afghanistan, and healthcare reform. No, they are determined to get this "czar" crisis under control. Thanks guys, you keep your eyes on the minutiae, we'll handle the rest.

A Breath Of Fresh Air

Today I am shedding some "lyte" on sanity. Lately, it seems that our nation has gone batsh*t crazy. Tea Baggers march on Washington protesting whatever whacked out theory is currently echoing in their empty heads. Most of those theories placed their by Limbaugh, Beck and company. Republicans acting out during the President's address to them last week. And the greatest excuse for batsh*t crazy: a townhall on healthcare.

But every once in while, reality trumps fantasy. Facts triumph over ideology. That moment happened this week when US District Court Judge Clay Land tossed out a complaint lodged by Captain Connie Rhodes of the US Army. Capt. Rhodes claimed that she did not have to deploy to Iraq because President Obama was not legally the President because he was not a citizen.

In other words, Capt. Rhodes is a "birther". She was represented by Orly Taitz, who is the head inmate in the "birther" asylum and also happens to be a lawyer. Judge Clay put Taitz on notice that she could face sanctions if she continues to file such "frivolous" lawsuits.

It must be noted that Capt. Rhodes had not objected to serving in the military, only her deployment by President Obama. Wow, with loyal soldiers like this in the Army, who needs enemies?

Just What The Doctor Ordered

I want to shed a little "lyte" today on common sense. The New England Journal of Medicine published a poll showing that a significant majority of doctors support a public option. I repeat, support a public option.

63 percent of the doctors polled support a combination of public and private insurance. An additional 10% support a complete government takeover of health insurance. When those numbers are combined, 3 out of 4 doctors want a public option.

Funny, I am not seeing a lot of buzz about this in the mainstream media. Even Huffington Post has buried it on their political page. You can bet if 3/4ths of the doctors had come out against a public option, it would be all over the networks, and the blogosphere.

So, roughly the same percentage of doctors support the public option as do ordinary citizens. Then why do we continue to see stories about the public option being in danger? Wishful thinking? Or are we seeing the influence of advertising and campaign dollars at work?

Only In America

I want to shed some "lyte" on disbelief. Today is September 14th, 2009. That's 2009, not 1809, or 1709. I could have sworn we were in a new millennium. But apparently not, because I just found out that a movie about Charles Darwin can't find a single distributor here in the U.S.

Nope, a movie about the man who posited the theory of evolution is considered too "controversial". That's because only 39% of Americans polled by Gallup in February believe in evolution. Evolution is a scientific theory, not a religion, it doesn't require believers. Evolution happens whether you believe in it or not. But a majority of Americans are opting out.

It's like the Enlightenment never happened. Forget Jefferson, or Kant, or Voltaire. We are now a nation that follows Limbaugh, Dobson, and Beck. What's that whooshing sound? Oh, it is the rest of the world passing us by as we embrace a mindset more reminiscent of the Middle Ages. Hey, maybe in American there is no evolution. Just ideology.

Remembrance

I am not shedding "lyte" on anything today. Instead, I am going to urge all of you reading this to honor the anniversary of 9/11 by committing random acts of kindness. Today is a National Day of Service and Remembrance. 2974 people died eight years ago today simply because they showed up for work.

Do what you can for whomever you can. Tip generously. Pay for someone's toll or coffee. Smile at strangers. If you can volunteer your time today, do it. If not, find a way to spread a little joy in your world. Call somebody you love and tell them you love them. We all need to take time and honor those who lives were so brutally ended in the name of hate.

Boys Behaving Badly

Today I am shedding some "lyte" on civility. Unless you are a hermit, you are probably aware that President Obama spoke to a joint session of Congress last night. He wanted to address the summer of shouting over healthcare reform. Unfortunately, the Republican side of the aisle mistook the rare occasion of the leader of the free world addressing them as just another townhall.

Ever since Barack Obama became the Democratic candidate for President, the Republicans and the rabid right have been yelling and waving signs. Once he actually won the election and was sworn in, the yelling has gotten louder and the signs more numerous. We seen tea parties and townhalls populated with angry citizens and their representatives. Some folks felt it necessary to arm themselves.

All this anger has now permeated the halls of Congress, most notably on the Republican side of the aisle. Presidents have always been subjected to a certain amount of disbelief from members of the opposition. But catcalls, shout outs and signs? That's just plain rude. And when Representative Joe Wilson, a Republican from South Carolina, felt it necessary to shout "You lie!" He demonstrated the depths of disdain that his party holds for our current President.

We are not Britain. We do not have "question time" for our President. Regardless of your ideology, President Obama is the leader of our country. And if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything. Didn't your mama raise you right?

Let Them Eat Cake

I want to shed some "lyte" on income distribution. Are you one among the top 1% of American households? Then congratulations, you did very well under the Bush administration. Thanks to his tax cuts and his administration's blatant favoritism towards big businesses and the people who own them, two-thirds of the nation's total income gains from 2001 to 2007 went to you.

This data comes from a large analysis of IRS data done by two economists. We haven't seen such income disparity since 1928. Can someone remind me what happened in 1929? Oh yeah, the Great Depression. Do you think it is merely coincidence that similar income gaps preceded our Great Recession? Hmmm.....

The top 1% did well, but the top of the top did even better. The top one-tenth of the top 1% saw their income increase by 94%. This even surpasses gains made during 1928. It is off the charts.

Did the Great Recession touch these households? How do you define touch? I doubt they had to make significant changes to their lifestyles. I doubt they are in foreclosure, or have had to declare bankruptcy. And the sad thing is, they stand to gain the most when the economy recovers. Only large-scale changes in public policy, like the New Deal, help to even the scales.

This income disparity has been in evidence since 1976. Until then, the bottom 90% gained income at a higher percentage than the top 1%. And the scary thing is, this is IRS data. Do you really think that the top 1% have claimed all of their income? Is it possible that they could afford really expensive accountants, have offshore accounts, and other vehicles to hide their money? Say it ain't so.

So, I guess there is only one thing to do. Eat the rich.

The Best Government Money Can Buy

Today I want to shed a little "lyte" on influence. A landmark case is now before the Supreme Court, one that could change our political landscape and the country as a whole. Citizens United vs Federal Elections Commission seeks to eliminate the current rule that corporations cannot contribute directly to elections.

Make no mistake, if our right-leaning Supreme Court removes the restriction, the money will flow to the Republicans. If you think big business already controls the Congress, you ain't seen nothin yet. With nothing standing between businesses and politicians, the private citizen will see their voices fade from public discourse.

Sure you can yell all you want at townhalls, rallies, and hearings. Send letters, emails, and tweet your fingers to the bone. But it will be money that will do all the talking and politicians will listen.

Your vote? What a quaint notion that it counts. You may vote someone in to office, but their decisions will be influenced by who fills their campaign coffers. And we all know how much big business cares about the little guy. If this law is repealed, we will no longer be democracy, but a kleptocracy. What a wonderful world it will be.

Big Balls

I am shedding some "lyte" today on balls. Or cojones. Anyhow, it seems that in the healthcare debate, there is one Democrat that is sporting a huge pair. Her name? Nancy Pelosi.

There are disturbing signs that the White House may be wavering on the public option. To be clear, while President Obama has supported a public option, he has never insisted that one be included in the final legislation. Of course, he has also been careful to let Congress hash out the bill, rather that presenting one to Congress to water down.

Now, after the hot August townhalls, Obama will address Congress (and the nation) about what he wants in the bill. This is scheduled to happen next Wednesday, when Congress returns from their recess. In the meantime, House Speaker Pelosi had made it clear that any bill "without a strong public option will not pass the House."

Thank you, Nancy. She has been joined by the Progressive and the Congressional Black Caucus. Though those two caucuses have stopped short of any threats of an opposition to President Obama. I just hope Senate Majority Leader and senior senator from my state, Nevada, Harry Reid will grow a pair and soon. Or maybe he can borrow Nancy's.

The Candidate For Change?

I want to shed some "lyte" on irony. The Republican party and the rabid right have officially outlawed irony in their party platform, so they are free to do whatever they want, say whatever they want, and they never have to worry about those silly things called facts or that annoying thing called reality.

If you needed another red flag of just how desperate the Republicans are for leadership, wrap your head around this: guess who's name is being bandied about as a potential presidential nominee? Wait for it....Dick Cheney. Now, give yourself a minute to let the blood rush back to your brain.

A far-fetched scenario? Again, read paragraph one. There was a column in the Wall Street Journal, yes, the Wall Street Journal, that suggested that Cheney would be an totally awesome candidate in 2012. He could run on his outstanding national security record. Okay, so sleeping at the wheel while 9/11 happened on your watch is NOT considered a black mark on your record of national security.

I need some Motrin. Every time I think that the Republicans have reached their limits on irony and hypocrisy, they come up with something like this. Of course, they are thinking that Afghanistan will be Obama's Vietnam. Conveniently forgetting that they were the ones that went there in the first place and then forgot about it when Iraq became the central front of the war on terror (their words, not mine).

Apparently they don't take responsibility for anything and they want to pin every mess they created on the guy we elected to clean them up. And this is the party that advertises itself as the party of accountability and responsibility. They also think they can package Cheney as a change agent. Yeah, what a refreshing change to elect an old, conservative, white guy. Who gleefully advocated such inspiring things like torture and secret prisons. That's change only a Republican could believe in.

It's Broke, Fix it

I am shedding some more "lyte" on the healthcare debate. While the rabid right are still waving their signs and barking at the wind at townhalls, millions of people with health insurance are going broke.

A new study out by the the American Journal of Medicine paints a dismal picture of life with a catastrophic illness. Even if you are insured, you are still in financial trouble. I don't want to confuse anyone with the facts, but they are hard to argue. 62% of all bankruptcies are due to a catastrophic medical event. Three quarters of those who filed had medical insurance. The overall share of medically caused bankruptcies increased by 50% between 2001 AND 2007.

Forget death panels and socialism. We are all just one serious illness away from disaster. That's the finest medical system in the world? Enough is enough. It is bad enough to be ranked below Costa Rica in the quality of our healthcare. It is bad enough that while spending more than any other country, we are far from receiving the best care in the world. It is bad enough to have our healthcare in the hands of executives who livelihood depends on denying us the care we have paid for.

We need to take our healthcare back. We need to send a clear message to insurance companies that the party is over. The current healthcare reform package is far from perfect, but it will go a long way in helping Americans get the healthcare that they are already paying for.